This semester I began my advanced-level ESL Oral Communication class with Susan Cain’s famed TED talk, and after the subject of introversion vs. extroversion became like a running theme in the class, I decided to pick up the book-length version, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.
So glad I did.
I’ve always known I was an introvert, but this book really helped me understand myself, as well as my friends and family, a little better. Suddenly, the mystifying behavior of the people around me — both extroverts and introverts — has begun to make sense. (Cain does a good job of showing the strengths, weaknesses, and general tendencies of both personalities, although her focus is definitely on the “quiet” types.) I feel like this book has not only given me permission to be myself, but has told me what that actually means. I constantly found myself thinking things like “YES! That’s me exactly!” or “Wow, now I know why I hated doing X and Y in school while everyone else loved it.” When you see your own mystifying tendencies mirrored in others’ stories, the pressure to conform to what you imagine “everyone” else does or thinks is significantly lessened.
I was particularly interested in the section discussing the high-reactive/low-reactive spectrum of personality traits, since sensitivity and resistance to novelty are what I’ve often deplored about myself most. I’m fully aware of the weaknesses of being sensitive and easily overstimulated, but I hadn’t really thought much about the upside. Again, Cain is very effective at showing how each type of personality has its light and dark sides. She even gives invaluable tips on how to cope with and communicate across different personality types and styles of interaction.
I get pretty impatient trying to write book reviews, so let me just sum it up: you should put this book on your reading list, preferably somewhere near the top. If anyone’s worried about it being unfair to extroverts, or being too rigid about defining personality types — no worries, Cain considers multiple perspectives to balance and mitigate the information she presents. And if anyone’s worried about it being a dense psychology book or a fluffy self-help book…it is neither. Cain writes with clarity and sincerity in largely narrative (but also reflective and analytical) style, and her anecdotes strike home.
